Rediscovering the Woman Behind the Responsibilities

When someone asks me what I enjoy doing, my answer today is very different than it would have been just a few years ago.

For a long time, I honestly didn't know.

That may sound strange coming from someone who has raised five girls, built businesses, traveled, and lived a full life, but somewhere along the way I became so focused on everyone else's needs that I slowly lost touch with my own. I knew what my daughters enjoyed. I knew what my friends liked. I knew what made clients happy. I knew how to plan vacations everyone else would love and organize experiences that made everyone around me smile.

But if someone had asked me, "Heather, if you had an entire day to yourself, what adventure would you choose?" I don't know that I could have answered.

I think many women quietly live this way. We become so accustomed to creating joy for everyone else that we eventually stop asking ourselves what brings us joy. Our calendars fill with work, school events, appointments, family obligations, and responsibilities. Even when we plan vacations, we naturally think about what everyone else wants to do first. When the people we love are happy, we're happy too. That's one of the beautiful qualities of being a woman. But somewhere along the journey, many of us lose a sense of ourselves.

When I ask women what they would do if they had an entire weekend completely to themselves, most of the answers sound the same. "I'd book a spa day." "I'd sleep." "I'd sit on a beach and do nothing." While those all sound wonderful, I've started asking a different question.

Are those things you genuinely love...

...or are they simply what your exhausted mind and body need to recover from the life you've been living?

There is a difference.

Recovery isn't the same as discovery.

As I began creating a healthier balance in my own life, I realized I needed to become curious again. I had spent so many years building a career and raising a family that I didn't really know what brought me to life anymore. So I started experimenting.

I took myself to dinner.

I went to concerts.

I traveled to cities I had never explored before.

I even traveled to Italy by myself.

Some people thought I was brave. Others thought I was crazy. But for me, those experiences weren't really about travel. They were about discovering who I was when no one else was deciding the itinerary.

Along the way, I learned something beautiful. I love wandering through new cities with no real agenda. I love finding local coffee shops and small restaurants. I love live music, road trips, beautiful scenery, meaningful conversations, and experiencing places I've never been before. None of those things were extravagant. They simply reminded me that there was still so much of myself left to discover.

I think that's the invitation I want to leave with you.

Instead of asking yourself, "What do I need a break from?" try asking, "What genuinely makes me come alive?"

If no one else's opinion mattered...

If you weren't planning around everyone else's preferences...

If you didn't need a recovery weekend afterward...

What would you actually choose?

Maybe your adventure is hiking a mountain, taking a painting class, visiting museums, kayaking, dancing, attending a concert, exploring a new town, taking a cooking class, or spending an afternoon in a bookstore with a cup of coffee. There isn't a right answer because God designed each of us differently.

The goal isn't simply to find something to do.

The goal is to rediscover the woman He created you to be before life became so full of responsibilities that you forgot to ask what brought you joy.

Adventure doesn't always require a passport or a plane ticket. Sometimes it begins with giving yourself permission to become curious again. Curiosity leads to discovery, discovery leads to confidence, and confidence allows us to build a life that reflects who we truly are—not just who everyone else needs us to be.

Because perhaps the greatest adventure isn't traveling to a new place.

Perhaps it's finally becoming acquainted with yourself again.